


in a place that won't let us feel

by lettersfromnowhere



Series: Starmora Oneshots [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersfromnowhere/pseuds/lettersfromnowhere
Summary: Falling in love looks different to everyone, especially to those who've never had the luxury of thinking much about it.(Peter and Gamora's thoughts on falling in love - sort of a character study.)





	in a place that won't let us feel

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, this was sort of a slapdash word vomit I wrote in twenty minutes because I Felt Like It™, and I'm a bit nervous about how the characterization in this may have come across, as it's kind of the turning point of the thing...fingers crossed. Enjoy!
> 
> (Title is from "The Last Night of the World" from Miss Saigon.)
> 
>  
> 
> Postscript: my tumblr is @ephemeralcontinuums. Come say hi :)

Gamora has never exactly had the luxury of contemplating love; if it's not an immediate threat to her survival, it's probably not something she has ever had the need to be particularly concerned with. Besides, she never thought she'd need to know. She'd resigned herself early on to the idea that she'd never have it. It wasn't worth a thought, or so she told herself. 

But now she's knee-deep in questions she'd have dismissed a few years ago as inapplicable.

If she's honest with herself, she has to admit that she likes the idea of falling in love, but that thought gets buried far below the surface in an airtight part of her brain where she's always banished uncooperative thoughts. Maybe, in another life, she'd have been somewhat of a romantic, but life has long since beaten any trace of that out of her. If she must give in to the feeling, she does it subtly; she prefers secrecy, shies from grand gestures. She has something that is  _hers,_ for once, and her first instinct is to hide it away, protect it. 

Isn't that what one does with precious things?

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If anyone asks him, Peter will claim to his last breath to be a bit of a love expert. 

He is most certainly not. 

He doesn't think he's ever  _truly_ been in love before, and whether he is or isn't has not exactly been a prominent concern in his previous relationships. He's barely considered it. But he thinks, even so, that he might know what it is like.

(Maybe, he's never stopped to consider, he's more of the hopeless romantic type than he lets on.) 

It feels like fireworks sometimes; other times it's all violins. It's dancing at midnight in a deserted room, silently communicating in a language all your own, a reason to wake up every day. It's a feeling that makes a person half-mad, one he wants the entire world to know that he is experiencing. Finally, he has something worth saying.

It's the fear of knowing you have something you could lose. 

He pushes the last thought aside most days. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gamora hides; Peter doesn't. He shows it off -  _hey, look, I'm in love! -_ more than she'd like.

(She swears she will stab someone if he refers to her as his girlfriend in an obvious public place one more time, but he keeps on doing it - probably because he knows her assertions are empty. She has an image to keep up. He knows better.)

Both of them know the meaning behind his displays, and she never minds as much as she'd expected to. 

This is how he says, without a word, that he loves her. 

Because though she hides the things she loves - protects them, guarding them with painstaking effort - it can be known that Peter Quill loves something when he begins to flaunt it. 

Blatantly, somewhat obnoxiously, and in front of as large a crowd as he can attract, of course. Frequently irritating, yes. But it is a way of saying "I love you," in his own imperfect way, as much as anything. 

So, though she rolls her eyes when he pulls her onto the dance floor at a party she can't remember how she ended up at and holds her close, in front of everyone, late at night when almost everyone has stopped dancing and they're nearly the only couple on the floor, like he never will again...

It is worth the risk of exposing herself. 

Usually, she hides; but sometimes, she soaks in the feeling of not having to keep secrets, and she lets herself be what she could have been. 

 


End file.
